7 signs you're in a controlling relationship
Signs of a tyrant husband
Today, the concept of home tyranny, unfortunately, is quite common. Many women now and then say that they live with their tyrant husbands. From the name we can already conclude that this is far from a heavenly existence. But what is the peculiarity of such a mental phenomenon? And how to recognize a tyrant in advance?
Signs of a tyrant husband
The main feature of people of this kind is a kind of obsession with the lust for power and the desire to control everything. For such people, even the slightest disobedience can cause enormous mental discomfort.
The tyrant must control every little thing and feel total control. Living with a despotic husband implies one obvious answer to the question Who is the boss ?.
And if someone suddenly dares to encroach on his power, or tries to drive him off the pedestal, he will try to do everything possible to eliminate the cause of the violation of his mental peace. He will try in every way to suppress those people who are not under his influence and control their actions.
A psychological suppressor is characterized by a tough defense of their positions. In a dispute, he will, on principle, insist on his own, even if he knows that he is deliberately wrong. The tyrant husband will never make concessions. For him, agreeing with someone else's opinion means a loss of power.
The main task of a tyrant husband is to put his wife in a position of dependence on him. He will ensure that his wife stay at home and raise children, so that she does not have her own sources of income. At the beginning of a relationship, this prohibition can be indicated in a milder form and looks quite noble.
The suppressor will tell you that his woman should not work, and he will take care of providing for the family himself. He will also forbid her to communicate with friends and relatives that he does not like. He will try to do everything to reign supreme over his soul mate.
The tyrant manifests itself in all its glory, especially during the pregnancy of the wife and after childbirth. At the moment when a woman is most vulnerable and dependent on her husband, which he uses very successfully.
During this period, the suppressor dominates almost everything.
In addition, he can afford not only to suppress his wife, but also to insult her, and even use physical force. We have described some of the main features of a tyrant husband by which he can be identified. But they are, as a ruleoh, they manifest themselves especially clearly when a woman has already hit the network. It is also possible to recognize the suppressor in advance if you know its psychological profile.
How do you get rid of your tyrant husband?
The Psychology of the Suppressor
From the point of view of psychology, the obsessive desire for power is classified as a neurosis. Husband - a psychological tyrant seeks, by all means, to suppress, humiliate, subordinate to his will the people who are with him.
An interesting feature is that he himself does not admit it to himself, but rationalizes any action. Neurotics tend to respect strong people and disdain the weaker ones. His behavior is also dictated by an inner weakness, which he never admits. With such a manifestation of authority, he compensates for his own inconsistency, therefore, he constantly needs confirmation of his strength.
Thus, the main reason for the psychological state of such a person is the constant internal conflict between the desired and the actual. He displaces his weakness and compensates for his dominance over others. Such an escape from reality for the despot has no end, since the recognition of his own weakness for him is like death. He sees himself as a strong and confident person. Related to this is the increased sensitivity of the suppressor's pride.
We recommend not to make fun of this psychotype, as he will not understand such things. It is vital for neurotics to constantly feel their own superiority over others.
The people around him are only objects of self-respect, against the background of which the home despot constantly dominates. To win the favor of a tyrant husband, it is enough to flatter the feelings of his own importance and express admiration for him.
But the home despot builds relationships with households on the constant maintenance of a sense of fear. Neurotics do not necessarily use physical force, they are excellent at manipulating people and feel the weak points of others. It should be remembered that the suppressor is actually a rather weak, vulnerable and infantile person who outwardly demonstrates strength and formidability.
Husband is a tyrant: tolerate or get rid of?
The most sad life scenario is one in which a woman constantly suffers from her husband's attacks, but does nothing to stop it. The main problem of such women is that if today's despotic husband goes somewhere for reasons beyond her control. A woman, as a rule, will eventually find an equivalent replacement for herself and will again endure pain and humiliation.
Five steps to getting rid of
So what if the husband is a tyrant? In fact, in this situation, the answer is obvious - file for divorce. But in life everything does not happen in a straightforward manner, and this issue is difficult from a psychological point of view.
We will try to give basic recommendations on howhow to get rid of a tyrant's husband:
- It is necessary to ask yourself a question Why do we need such a husband? and answer it sincerely. As practice shows, many women just like to feel like a victim, and they get pleasure from suffering. And in order to get rid of tyranny, it will be necessary to make an effort to work on yourself;
- Take responsibility for yourself and your life. It is necessary to look at the current situation from the outside and realize that such behavior of a tyrant husband is possible only with the consent of the victim. As a rule, women are afraid to independently manage their own lives and prefer to lean on a strong man's shoulder. In some cases, living with a suppressor is the price to pay for this peace of mind;
- If you choose the option of qualitatively changing your life, be prepared for the fact that you will face a serious revision of your worldview and reassessment of values. It is rather difficult to understand this issue on your own, therefore, at this stage, the best option would be to seek help from a specialist - a psychoanalyst;
- A woman's first priority is to increase her self-esteem. After all, as a rule, the life of women who have an underestimated self-esteem is associated with tyrants. You need to love yourself, take care of your own development and try to get out of the position of material dependence on the psychological vampire. This will help change the relationship with the tyrant and get out of his game;
- If you live with a tyrant husband, then you should know that re-educating him will not work. He will constantly seek power and domination. And if you get out of his control - endless nagging and insults await you. Therefore, the only correct solution in this case is divorce.
Many women do not leave domestic despots because of children. But think, do you want your son to adopt the behavior of his father, and your daughter subconsciously sought to choose a husband like her father?
Try our recommendations and your life will change anyway! Love and understanding!